The pivotal song in the rock opera, I’m Free, is also pivotal in my own life. Tommy’s mother throws him into the mirror out of exasperation for all the years he never responded to her efforts to communicate with him. The rough equivalent of this for me was when after only two months of knowing my future stepmother and stepsiblings, my father, on Mothers Day, told me that the five of us will become a family. Given the fact that only two months meant that they were still strangers to me, in addition to the inability to gain closure over the loss of my biological mother ten years earlier, it felt as if I were thrown into a mirror, just as Tommy had been.
However as the four months between the day I was told of the marriage, and the day of the wedding had passed, I began to accept the new reality. While my fifteen-year old brother-to-be and I had a lot of tension between us, I adored my five-year old sister-to-be.
The key to my successful transition and integration into a new family was the result of acceptance of the new family by relatives from my biological mother’s family. So instead of feeling like an orphan living in a family of two, my Dad and myself, I was integrated into more than one family. First, my new immediate family of my father, stepmother and stepsiblings. Second, my stepmother’s extended family. Third, my biological mother’s extended family.
However beyond attainment of a normal life and finding peace within myself, I evolved from someone self-absorbed with my own problems, to a person finding empathy with others experiencing problems or challenges in their own lives.